Letter 49

June 11, 2012

Hey Ya'll!

First off Austin quit bragging about your darn emails! Madi I'm sorry... I will write you a letter this week and try to throw in some pictures. I can’t do pictures right now because I don’t have a card reader. Chase... don’t tell Madi about the email I wrote to you... haha

Anyway.... This week was rough! Elder Curletti and I have been struggling... mostly me. I've been struggling. I have been trying so hard to make things work in Donna and I have been trying so hard to focus on being a good Trainer and Senior Comp and I lost sight of what should be driving me. I was just going through the motions and the Spirit was absent from our companionship. Elder Curletti and I had another long talk. He told me that he was tired of not having success and not having the Spirit. I agreed. But, thinking that I knew everything, I told him that we just needed to endure and success would come. While we talked I realized how wrong I was. Missionary work isn’t supposed to be endured. It’s supposed to be enjoyed, it’s supposed to be relished. The Spirit needs to be with us at ALL times and I started to realize that I wasn’t focused on that at all. I have been focusing on "Training" so much that I had become an unfeeling robot missionary and failure didn’t even phase me. That’s not what I want. I want the Spirit to be the Senior Companion. I have learned so much about what I need to do and I am so grateful. The Atonement needs to take a leading role in our lives. We need to be constantly striving to have it and we can only have it when we are applying the Atonement. The Atonement of our Savior is real and I feel it. I know that I have the potential to be a great leader in the mission and for the longest time I was scared of that, but I'm not afraid of it anymore. I need to get better and I know the Lord will help me. Elder Curletti is doing great. He's just got a hard headed trainer. He will be a great leader in the mission. He's learning a lot of lessons that I wish I had learned earlier in my mission. I would be a better missionary if I did. But I'm tired of not having success. Elder Curletti and I will be working hard with the Spirit this week applying the Atonement.

Maxine left for Washington. We talked to her on Tuesday and she told us that she was going to get dropped for the Teach for America program if she didn’t leave right way but she couldn’t because her mom was out of town and she was stuck taking care of her sick grandma. We told her that there was a reason for everything and that the Lord wanted her to learn something. It was really tough though. She had been working for it for like 6 years. She texted us and said that she wasn’t going to miss her chance and she left on Friday. She promised to contact the Church over there though... so we'll see.

The Part Member family we are working with are still there. They aren’t progressing anymore because they didn’t come to church. They were going to come to the Spanish Ward but then their tire was flat. So they fixed it and were going to come to the English Ward but then it wouldn’t start. So... they couldn’t come. boooo... We set up a time to meet with them today though. I pray that everything will go allright and they can start to progress again.

Madi.. I'm so sorry... I'm like the worst brother in the world. I started writing a letter to you last Monday and I was going to send it... but I didn’t have enough time to finish it. You are the best sister in the whole wide world and I can’t believe your freaking going to College. You are an old fart... emphasis on the FART! I love you and I'll try to get that letter to you this week. Please understand.

I love you as well mom. I enjoyed your package and I appreciate the fact that you and dad looked through a bunch of bags of animal crackers for Elephants and Camels... just to be "cute". Hahaha I feel bad for saying "Why does my mom always have to make things cute" when I opened it. I appreciate the effort and I will eat them.

I hope you all have a great week this week and I challenge you all to take a personal inventory of your lives and change anything that doesn’t invite the Spirit. SEARCH FOR THE SPIRIT!

-Elder Jordan Stewart